"You don't have to respond just yet, but think about it." Says Donna with a smile as she sits on the edge of my hospital bed. I try to ignore the itch from the IV inserted in my hand to ward off infection from the wound on my leg.
Morphine is fun.
We sit there as the sun wafts into the hospital room. A moment later Jim enters with flowers. He doesn't think to put them in a vase but simply lays them at the end of the bed next to my good leg.
"Thank you, their beautiful." I tell him with a smile. He blushes.
Donna stands and uses an empty jug used for ice water to put the flowers in, and places them near the window. They perk up the room but they can't perk up the sadness in my heart.
"It's as if that was her destiny. She was so badly burnt from before. It's like she was meant to go in a fire or something," I say very haphazardly as I try to distance myself from the grief that is trying to set in.
We watch mundane television to pass time and I sail along in the painlessness provided by the morphine.
Eventually the ladies from social services enter. One of them politely knocks on the open door.
"How's she doing?" She asks Donna who gives an affirmative smile.
"We're good," I say sounding a little slurred.
"I know we can talk about this in more detail once you're better, but we all feel that you would make the perfect foster mother for the child." Says the taller of the two.
I don't argue. Partly because I have no energy, but mostly because I don't want to disappoint. It's a miracle that the little baby survived and my heart does go out to it, but I'm just not sure if I want the responsibility.
"It's all just a bit much to take in," I tell them and close my eyes. I lay my head back against the pillow and welcome the fatigue that is setting in.
"It's just too much..." I say slowly as I drift into slumber. I'm barely awake when I notice Donna turning down the volume on the TV before leaving the room. I have no idea as I drift in and out of thoughts if Jim is still there. This day has been extraordinarily eventful and right now -- right here, in this moment; all I want to do is close my eyes and not think about anything for as long as the nap will allow. And so I welcome the warmth of a deep sleep as --
