We crawl along the ground, silently; away from the camp towards the outset of the forest for the night. The sun is now low in the sky. We've learned that the mutants feast throughout the day and sleep in shifts throughout the night. I am not sure what the others have decided, but I would imagine that night would be our best time to attack.
When we reach the edge of the forest Donna points to a mountain straight ahead -- about an hour's walk, where she believes we can take shelter.
We walk along in silence -- each of us processing and grieving as we need to. I look at what's left of my world, those few who are now with us, and try to hold on to the small grain of hope that I've planted deep withing the folds of my being.
None of us are worried about encountering any more dangers. The mutants seem to be an anomoly in our universe. A rogue group of savages who have zero understanding of the benefits of society.
Bastards.
That's all the anger I allow -- as anger drains. And so, I march along determined to channel what's left of my energy into defending our camp and freeing those of us who are still alive and trapped in the hospital.
When we finally reach the base of the mountain we feel safe enough to talk -- but only in whispers as none of us want to tempt fate.
"I think we should stay here for a few days," says Jim. "It will give them a false sense of security."
We all agree. We decide that we will take salvage in one of the caves near the top of the mountain. We stumble up the rock quickly so as to claim our home before the sun bids us goodnight. The migration up the mountain is relatively effortless. We are all hyper conscientious of the other and so, almost instinctively we avert any stumbles with razor sharp reactions.
I first learn of this newly formed shared consciousness when I trip over a loose rock. Before gravity could suck me back -- a hand stops my fall. A few minutes later I do the same thing for the person in front of me. It's automatic. After watching all of us do this for the other on our way up, it becomes inevitable that we are to trust in each other. As long as we stick together and have each other's back -- nothing bad can happen.
It only takes twenty minutes to reach the top of the mountain. Jim and some of the others decide on which cave will provide the best vantage point while simultaneously hiding us from any view from the edge of the forest.
In the distance, further away and past the mountain, there is a river. We take comfort in knowing that we can bathe and drink from it with at least one hour's warning before any of the mutants could reach us.
We decide to watch the edge of the forest from our new home in shifts. Those who are stronger decided to stay awake for the first shift. The understanding is that if they feel like they can't stay awake they are to wake one of us from the cave and switch. We sleep in the cave in order of our fatigue. Those who are most tired crawl furthest to the back. The reason for this is that those who sleep closer to the front feel confident that if they need to be woken to replace someone on shift; they will not let the rest of us down. From this point forward all our decisions factor into what is best for the group. The notion of individuality no longer applies.
That first night I am lucky enough to be allowed to sleep and so I crawl into the furthest crevice in the back of the cave. I lay my head on the damp surface, not caring that it is wet and cold. And, a moment later slumber takes me hostage and offers me a much needed momentary reprieve from the nightmare which is now my reality.
And I sleep with the notion that for the first time in a very long time I am safe. The others will not let me down. To do so would jeopardize their own fate. And, after seeing her have one too many tantrums these last few weeks it is evident to all, that it is better to appease the angry bitch than to get into a battle of wits. Fate is the one entity whose tumultuous tantrums have mortal consequences.
And so, we appease her by not giving her an opportunity to isolate any of us. We've learned that by banding together, we form a barrier against her -- forcing her to begrudgingly avenge her fury elsewhere. For Fate is always seeking the selfish; individuals who focus on their own needs rather than the banded consciousness of their collective.
As long as we stick together Fate is and always will be, our greatest ally.
